I was at the gym with Kong-Tak (CKT) just now and he was taking it easy as usual. He wasn’t paying attention to his form, and he was cheating in between reps.

“CKT, you cher-kai fellow!” I exclaimed. “Ponteng #1, hurry up and do your set properly lah! No cheating or else you will really get it from me.” And I proceeded to whip him with my gym towel!

An old bald guy then tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me..” said he. “What language are you speaking?”

I was so tempted to say it was the Happening-Lah language, but I told him the truth. It was how we spoke our own English in Singapore/Malaysia. 70% of it was English while the rest was made up of Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay, Tamil and more bad English. Needless to say he was bemused by it all.

The old fool.

Next time someone asks me the same question, I will say it’s the Happening-Lah language. For all of you who know how to speak it, join my Happening-Lah campaign! Let’s try to trick the ignorant into thinking it is a new language.