It’s embarrassing being Singaporean. Especially if you’re a man. Fortunately, I’m not… Singaporean.

In a recent survey by FHM magazine, they found that not only did Singaporean men had very little sex per week, they also had the second smallest ding-a-lings.

Ages ago, fearing that the population will rise too fast and overload Singapore’s limited space, the government encouraged its citizens to have 2 children only. Recently, they held a campaign to encourage more baby production!

Pity the Singaporean men! Not only do they not get alot of action, now everyone in the world knows as the government has confirmed. It won’t be long before the Singapore government also encourage penis enlargement operations too.

To top it all off, oral sex is also banned in Singapore. You can read more about it…

• No oral sex please, this is clean-living Singapore
• Teen claims she performed oral sex on 3 men
• CJ halves oral-sex sentence

Be careful when you’re in Singapore. If a girl performs oral sex on you, she may be able to blackmail you by threatening to report you to the police. In other words, if you’re a visitor to Singapore, keep your wandering hands off women and enjoy the good food Singapore offers instead.

The law is also unjust, in that it seems to convict men who receive oral sex, and not the women who administer it. It also doesn’t seem illegal if men perform the same on women.

I predict many Singaporeans are protesting privately by having oral sex at home. Maybe the government plans to continue banning oral sex and encourage normal sex to increase baby production?