Alan “Animal” Chin had his buck’s night yesterday. That’s a stag night for all of you not familiar with the term. The organiser was Robin Long, one of the biggest heathens known to man.

He rented a hotel room, and arranged for a stripper to come and do a private show. I had no knowledge of what was happening beforehand. Of course as soon as I found out the stripper was coming I tried to leave. All of you know what high morals I have! But, the rest of the guys restrained me physically.

The stripper arrived, and she must have known there were only six lame asians and a guai-lo in the room, because she didn’t bring any security. After taking 20 minutes to get ready in the bathroom, she started. It was a sinful, shameful show, which involved the use of chewy lollies, body lotion, a pearl necklace and a chupa chup. She also set Alan’s armpit hair on fire.

I expressed my outrage by staring in silent protest.

The whole performance lasted only 15 minutes. And she walked away with $400 in cold hard cash.

After that, we had a 2 hour karaoke session but poor Alan had too much to drink and passed out. Everyone else got involved which was good fun and we ended with a big Y.M.C.A.

Once that was over, I headed down to the MSO dance party and caught up with a couple of friends I haven’t seen in ages. It was funny… I haven’t been to one since I left the US. People were still waiting impatiently for the R&B and hip hop to come on. Some things never change.