Merry Christmas to all! Since I can’t give each of you targeted, customised greetings, Merry Christmas once again!

For all of you who didn’t go to church… shame, shame, shame. All the monkeys know your name.

Talking about monkeys, I got a really cool pressie from a friend, who shall remain nameless so as not to arouse any jealousy. His name is “Hornee Monkee”. Of course, my friend got me Hornee because he was the only one in pink. He has magnets on his eyes, ears, mouth and hands, so he cover himself up in all the right places.

Wayne Truong got me a willie warmer. He was concerned I would catch a cold as I haven’t bought new underwear in years and my current pairs are all worn and thinned out. Unfortunately, the willie warmer is far too large and I can never keep it in place.

My sister and bro-in-law got me a 75ml bottle of Armani Black Code, a fairly recent fragrance that I absolutely love. It’s smells flowerly and light and very gay.

I also got many boxes of chocolate. And a gorilla key chain that when squeezed, will reveal his “kukujiao” with red tip.