Note: You may not understand it if you don’t know Engrrish.

It has been a tragic end to 2004 with the lost of many lives and massive destruction due to the tsunamis.

So help out by:

• Praying
• Pulling out your wallets
• Donating to the cause

For all of you who didn’t go to church… shame, shame, shame. All the monkeys know your name.

Talking about monkeys, I got a really cool pressie from a friend, who shall remain nameless so as not to arouse any jealousy. His name is “Hornee Monkee”. Of course, my friend got me Hornee because he was the only one in pink. He has magnets on his eyes, ears, mouth and hands, so he cover himself up in all the right places.

Wayne Truong got me a willie warmer. He was concerned I would catch a cold as I haven’t bought new underwear in years and my current pairs are all worn and thinned out. Unfortunately, the willie warmer is far too large and I can never keep it in place.

My sister and bro-in-law got me a 75ml bottle of Armani Black Code, a fairly recent fragrance that I absolutely love. It’s smells flowerly and light and very gay.

I also got many boxes of chocolate. And a gorilla key chain that when squeezed, will reveal his “kukujiao” with red tip.

Sylvia’s my coffee buddy, and soon-to-be gym buddy. I’m trying to get her to come to at least one circuit class with me at Fitness First on Bond St.

Sylvia is very important to me. She’s very well connected with people in the retail sector, and she hooks me up with the important ones who can give substantial discounts.

We’re also actual partners in crime, because we were in an accidental hit-and-run on our last snowboarding trip, involving a poor baby kangaroo who tried to cross the street without looking both ways first.

This year’s birthday pressies were quite profitable. My investment in my friends’ finally paid off in the form of good food and snazzy presents.

• Wireless keyboard and mouse (Logitech Cordless MX Duo).
• eyeToy and SingStar for my Ps2.
• Red boxing gloves.
• Cool t-shirt./li>
• Heavy photo frame/album./li>
• Money $$$!/li>
• Socks and CK briefs (people want to be my underwear, and touch me there, there and there).
• Sinfully delicious cheese cake.
• Tony Romas babyback ribs.
• Chocolate mud cake, extremely high in calories (would’ve killed Atkins).
• Nothing from my best friend Simon

I have not rewarded myself with a present yet. I’m looking at getting a plasma TV that’s exorbitantly priced. Still doing the cheap Asian routine, going to every store and haggling down the price, then going off and trying to get a better deal.

These things take time.

He rented a hotel room, and arranged for a stripper to come and do a private show. I had no knowledge of what was happening beforehand. Of course as soon as I found out the stripper was coming I tried to leave. All of you know what high morals I have! But, the rest of the guys restrained me physically.

The stripper arrived, and she must have known there were only six lame asians and a guai-lo in the room, because she didn’t bring any security. After taking 20 minutes to get ready in the bathroom, she started. It was a sinful, shameful show, which involved the use of chewy lollies, body lotion, a pearl necklace and a chupa chup. She also set Alan’s armpit hair on fire.

I expressed my outrage by staring in silent protest.

The whole performance lasted only 15 minutes. And she walked away with $400 in cold hard cash.

After that, we had a 2 hour karaoke session but poor Alan had too much to drink and passed out. Everyone else got involved which was good fun and we ended with a big Y.M.C.A.

Once that was over, I headed down to the MSO dance party and caught up with a couple of friends I haven’t seen in ages. It was funny… I haven’t been to one since I left the US. People were still waiting impatiently for the R&B and hip hop to come on. Some things never change.

Anyway, I had a look at my web stats and 2 days ago I did get heaps of new hits so I’m gaining interest again.

I’m also caving into pressure and will finally start blogging. I used to think people wouldn’t be interested, but it seems the things that how I see life makes people laugh.

What else is new? Have been working on a human resource assignment that absolutely sucked big ass bananas. I hate writing up reports or critically analysing things. Have a presentation next week which should be alright as my group is a dream team and the final exam a week after that. Will this nightmare ever end?

I had a very hectic 6 months since returning to Sydney from USA. I got decent grades for the 2 MBA subjects I did last semester and am faring well so far on the Finance subject I’m taking over summer.

Also decided to start my Microsoft certification. I’ve finished the 70-229 exam, “Designing and Implementing Databases with Microsoft SQL Server 2000, Enterprise Edition”, with a score of 885. I plan to start the .Net ones as soon as I finish with my finance exam in February 12.

Here’s the proof.

The honey on the left of the Australian Idol is my friend Cece. As you can see, Guy had his left arm around her shoulders, but his right arm was placed somewhere else… BEHIND me (wink, wink).

I promised Guy that I would get all the Asians in Sydney to vote for him. And they did. Of course, being a true tight-arse Asian, I was too stingy to vote myself. But he won. Sorry Shannon.

Note: If you click on the image you can see Shannon at the back!

These tickets are for her company’s executives to take corporate clients. Which meant we were seated just behind the players’ bench. We were able to listen in to the coach telling them off and smell their foul body odors. We also had a great view of the cheerleaders.

And food and drinks were served too!

The funniest thing was that the Australian Idols were there. When the game was over, they walked by and we decided to harass Guy Sebastian, the fellow with the Afro.

You can just imagine how shocked he was when eight Asians in their mid-twenties went after him, demanding handshakes, autographs and photos. I didn’t bring my camera but I’ll post some photos as soon as I’ve grabbed them off the others.

Oh watch out for Australian Idol Insider on Thursday as I may be on TV. There was a camera close by when I shook Guy’s hand.

And I promised him that I’d get every Asian in Sydney to vote for him. Don’t make me a liar.