Some of my visitors from Singapore were very offended about my previous blog entry, Pity the Singaporeans.

I was quickly given a link to a self-confessed super action hero called Steven Lim, who claims he is the most handsome man in Singapore.

His web page is hosted on a free Yahoo! GeoCities account, and because of the enormous amount of traffic he generates, it’s often unavailable. I suggest you try hitting the site at different times of the day. http://sg.geocities.com/sghunk1976/SgHunkWeb.html

Steven also calls himself the Street Eyebrow Plucker. He wrote a book on the art of plucking eyebrows, but for SGD$10 he will personally pluck yours himself. His eye brow plucking web page can be found at: http://sg.geocities.com/eyebrowser1976/Eyebrowser.html

Quote: “I am handsome, I am gorgeous, I am fearless, I am me. I am Steven Lim.”

More happening than me lah.

It’s embarrassing being Singaporean. Especially if you’re a man. Fortunately, I’m not… Singaporean.

In a recent survey by FHM magazine, they found that not only did Singaporean men had very little sex per week, they also had the second smallest ding-a-lings.

Ages ago, fearing that the population will rise too fast and overload Singapore’s limited space, the government encouraged its citizens to have 2 children only. Recently, they held a campaign to encourage more baby production!

Pity the Singaporean men! Not only do they not get alot of action, now everyone in the world knows as the government has confirmed. It won’t be long before the Singapore government also encourage penis enlargement operations too.

To top it all off, oral sex is also banned in Singapore. You can read more about it…

• No oral sex please, this is clean-living Singapore
• Teen claims she performed oral sex on 3 men
• CJ halves oral-sex sentence

Be careful when you’re in Singapore. If a girl performs oral sex on you, she may be able to blackmail you by threatening to report you to the police. In other words, if you’re a visitor to Singapore, keep your wandering hands off women and enjoy the good food Singapore offers instead.

The law is also unjust, in that it seems to convict men who receive oral sex, and not the women who administer it. It also doesn’t seem illegal if men perform the same on women.

I predict many Singaporeans are protesting privately by having oral sex at home. Maybe the government plans to continue banning oral sex and encourage normal sex to increase baby production?

Any die hard XBox fan will know of the chicks from the Dead or Alive games. If they’re not kicking each other’s buttocks in street fights, they’re in bikinis playing volley ball at the beach.

But if you buy an XBox in Japan this month, Microsoft is throwing in a dakimakura or hugging pillow, similar to those bolsters that all Indonesians simply cannot sleep without.

Quote: “I guess they’re supposed to be used … as pillows to hug, of course … and for other obscene purposes that I would rather not mention.”

Did you know that there’s a crack that can be applied to hack the game, giving you heaps of money and discounting the price of bikinis, sunnies, hats and other items to just one dollar. It also removes all clothing from the DOA girls, and adds detail to their rude bits.

To the disappointment of many, there is no mention of any nude patches for the pillow.

Of course, with my high moral standards, I never would have applied the crack if I had known it promoted nudity. I thought it would only give me unlimited money. To my horror, I only discovered it also removed the girls’ clothing when some kids fired up the game in my home.

I predict the streets of Hong Kong will start selling similiar imitations, like Chun Li and Lara Croft. In fact, I will start investigating the idea of removable pillow cases! A different character for each night!

Thanks to Michael Tan for the link.

http://www.wired.com/news/games/0,2101,62176,00.html?tw=wn_culthead_6

Was flipping the channels on Sunday evening and started watching the end of American Idol on Channel Ten. Managed to catch the interview and performance of William Hung.

This civil engineer to-be, who was originally from Hong Kong and is now studying in Berkley, got in front of the judges and all of America. He sang “She Bangs” from Ricky Martin, accompanied by some dance moves (sure to appear in lots of Asian dance parties).

While Randy (judge) covered his face and Simon (pommy judge) tried making the smart arse comments he normally makes, Hung didn’t let it get to him. He accepted the criticism, politely thanked the judges, and didn’t cry or bitch after his audition.

Perhaps if other Idol hopefuls could follow his example, and make the show less of an insult exchange, it would finally spark less interest and the TV networks would stop making money from all the phone calls and smses! Don’t give that pom the satisfaction of taking anyone down!

He has been mentioned in heaps of blogs all over the internet, and has also been on radio shows.

You can watch William Hung perform, and for another version, check out the Hung here.

For current news, remixed mp3s and more information about William Hung, check out this web site at www.williamhung.net.

I know I have not updated the site in such a long time. I hope you had a Happy New Year, both normal and Chinese.

I had a very hectic 6 months since returning to Sydney from USA. I got decent grades for the 2 MBA subjects I did last semester and am faring well so far on the Finance subject I’m taking over summer.

Also decided to start my Microsoft certification. I’ve finished the 70-229 exam, “Designing and Implementing Databases with Microsoft SQL Server 2000, Enterprise Edition”, with a score of 885. I plan to start the .Net ones as soon as I finish with my finance exam in February 12.

As I mentioned before in one of my earlier blog entries, I met Guy Sebastian in a Sydney Kings game a couple of weeks ago.

Here’s the proof.

The honey on the left of the Australian Idol is my friend Cece. As you can see, Guy had his left arm around her shoulders, but his right arm was placed somewhere else… BEHIND me (wink, wink).

I promised Guy that I would get all the Asians in Sydney to vote for him. And they did. Of course, being a true tight-arse Asian, I was too stingy to vote myself. But he won. Sorry Shannon.

Note: If you click on the image you can see Shannon at the back!

Caroline, one of my work mates, urged me to warn all my visitors of this terrible scam.

In her own words: “I wish I’d gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.”

Update: Please be careful dear visitors. Several other people have
informed me that they too have been tricked.

Send this warning to everyone you know.

“IF A MAN COMES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR AND SAYS HE IS CONDUCTING A SURVEY AND ASKS YOU TO SHOW HIM
YOUR BOOBS, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS.”

“THIS IS A SCAM. HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOUR BOOBS.”

Jenni managed to get box tickets to a NBL basketball game which was between the Sydney Kings and West Sydney Razorbacks.

These tickets are for her company’s executives to take corporate clients. Which meant we were seated just behind the players’ bench. We were able to listen in to the coach telling them off and smell their foul body odors. We also had a great view of the cheerleaders.

And food and drinks were served too!

The funniest thing was that the Australian Idols were there. When the game was over, they walked by and we decided to harass Guy Sebastian, the fellow with the Afro.

You can just imagine how shocked he was when eight Asians in their mid-twenties went after him, demanding handshakes, autographs and photos. I didn’t bring my camera but I’ll post some photos as soon as I’ve grabbed them off the others.

Oh watch out for Australian Idol Insider on Thursday as I may be on TV. There was a camera close by when I shook Guy’s hand.

And I promised him that I’d get every Asian in Sydney to vote for him. Don’t make me a liar.

A perverted version of Monopoly called Ghettopoly is raising eye brows all over the States.

Ghettopoly is meant to be played like the popular board game Monopoly. But that’s where the similarities end.

Instead of building houses, you have to build crack houses. Instead of using a dog or top hat as a play piece, you can use a pimp or basketball instead.

Whilst alot of people find Ghettopoly amusing, there are many that find it offensive. They claim it focuses on all of the bad images of African-Americans.

What’s most interesting about Ghettopoly is that its inventor is a Chinese guy called David T. Chang. Apparently he watched too much B.E.T (Black Entertainment Television) and came up with the idea.

Mr Chang sure knows that the gangsta image is what’s making the big bucks, so he invented Ghettopoly to cash in. He plans to release other board games titled Hoodopoly, Hiphopoly, Thugopoly and Redneckopoly.

He has ignored the Asian community. There are no plans to release Dimsumopoly or Karaokopoly.

http://www.ghettopoly.com/

Congratulations to both Denise and Hubert, who were happily married yesterday. They’re off to Fiji for their honeymoon, looking forward to lots of relaxation and tanned skin.

It was also great catching up with many people I have not seen since I left for the US, and many I tried to avoid for the past couple of years!